It's no surprise that as sexual beings we all have our own sexual preferences. Our likes, wants, and needs are unique to each of us and shape our sexual and intimate experiences. But what about our dislikes? Or aversions to certain stimuli? What if the enjoyment and pleasure of sex can quickly turn to pain and kill the mood. For some of us, this might be when our partner lightly touches our skin or grasps too firmly. What is this experience like and how can OT play a role in this??? Many of the clients I have work have sensory preferences and high/low thresholds, and this can be even more so for people with autism or sensory regulation difficulties.
A great research article discussing sensory features and sexuality was recently shared with me by one of the authors, Anne Kirby, so naturally I was excited about it and wanted to share it here with you!
Using a qualitative approach, Gray et al. (2021) sought out to explore how autistic sensory features (i.e. sensory sensitivities and sensory seeking behaviors) impact the experiences and relationships of autistic people. This includes the impact of low and high neurological threshold sensory patterns, sensory modalities and sexual identity.
By referencing several books and online forums, Gray et al. (2021) read the narratives of 78 participants to learn more about how touch, sight, sound, smell and sexual identity may is experienced by someone with autism. From the 78 narratives the researchers found that:
While one person may have a desire for firm and deep pressure someone else may struggle with low sensory threshold and subsequent sensory overload, which ultimately has a negative effect on arousal (think their enjoyment of the sensations) and their desire to engage in future sexual activity.
What I really appreciated the researchers pointing out is how the unique sensory features of autistic people influences their sexual experiences, but also the way they engage in social activities where they might meet a sexual partner.
When it comes to addressing sex and intimacy, as OTs, we know it requires more than just looking at the occupation of sex. We need to have a good understanding of how that person functions across all areas of occupation...ADLs, IADLs, social participation.. the list goes on!
Even more... how does a sexual experience make that person feel? Participants referenced in this particular article (Gray et al., 2021) mention that sexual experiences also help them with self-regulation by providing a calming affect and better ability to manage throughout the day. While sex may sound like a great way to start the day for some, others reported feelings of frustration, distress and confusion. Some participants also shared that they're asexual and have no desire to participate in sexual or romantic activities. This reminds me of how I've worked with probably just as many people on how to decline sex and normalize saying "no" to sex as I have worked with people who are wanting to say "yes" to sexy time.
Here are some great quotes shared from the narratives that I enjoyed reading:
“I'm very sensitive to touch, which usually heightens my sexual experiences.”
“High-pitched electronic sounds (from anything like smoke detectors to adult toys) can be extremely painful.”
“I am not particularly sensitive so I need more friction to achieve orgasm.”
“Kissing and sex sometimes involves too much texture, bodily smells, tastes, heat and intimacy that I get overloaded and frightened” [emphasis added]
“I don't always like the odor of body fluids.”
“I prefer a firm touch. I like to be held tightly and sometimes bound.”
Reference
Gray, S., Kirby, A. V., & Graham Holmes, L. (2021). Autistic Narratives of Sensory Features, Sexuality, and Relationships. Autism in Adulthood. Published. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0049
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